


Hulk Advisory

by Not_You



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Protective Hulk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-14
Updated: 2012-09-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 05:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this Avengerkink prompt:</p><p>So we've had fills with Hulk lecturing some people about how much they will be smashed if they mistreat Bruce's friends romantically. They were quite amusing. But I'd like to see him lecturing Bruce's romantic interest. He exists (according to some theories) to protect him, after all, so even if he likes the person- which he probably does- he just has to make sure.</p><p>Bruce/Tony is my favorite, but just about anyone would be awesome with this. I'm looking for more "funny and cute" than "terrifying".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hulk Advisory

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Hulk Advisory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547093) by [Bat_out_of_hell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bat_out_of_hell/pseuds/Bat_out_of_hell), [fandom_All_Avengers_and_MCU_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_All_Avengers_and_MCU_2017/pseuds/fandom_All_Avengers_and_MCU_2017)



Well, that's everything cleared up. Bruce is still huge and green, but he looks calm, so Tony lands next to him, flipping his faceplate up. That giant face looks very serious, without the usual little grin that comes from smashing the right things. "Hey, big guy. What's up?"

"HULK TALK TO METAL MAN."

Tony blinks, then shrugs. "Sure, buddy. I mean, you're not usually verbose but I'm adaptable and--EEK!" He's suddenly tucked under one big green arm like a football, and he's glad the others aren't here to see this.

"NOT HURT." It's a statement of a fact and an expression of concern at the same time as he makes his rapid way over the debris to a clear space that probably will be more comfortable.

"Of course not, you just startled me. Where are we-- oh, is this a private conversation?"

Hulk nods again, and sets Tony down carefully when they get there, sitting on the blacktop and studying him. "BRUCE LIKE METAL MAN."

Tony grins. "Good to know."

Hulk shakes his head, deadly serious. "BRUCE LIKE METAL MAN A _LOT_."

"...Like, likes me?" He's does his best not to grin, since Jolly Green is so damn serious.

"LOTS. SCARED."

"...Oh." It's kinda like a punch to the gut. "Hey, if this is the shovel talk--"

"HULK PROTECT BRUCE."

"Yeah, we'd kinda gotten that impression..."

"HULK LIKE METAL MAN."

"Good, 'cause I like you too."

"HURT BRUCE, HULK SMASH."

He winces. "I'll bet."

"SMASH AND SMASH METAL MAN."

"Okay!"

"THEN SMASH BITS."

"Right."

"MAKE POWDER."

"Gotcha."

" _EAT_ POWDER," he snarls, and Tony does his best not to whimper in mortal terror.

"Just remember that nothing's happened yet! We're cool!" Hulk nods, and Tony relaxes. "So, got any advice for me?" He's kidding, but Hulk looks surprisingly thoughtful.

"DRINK SMELL BAD. MAKE NERVOUS."

There's probably some unbelievable horror story attached to that, and Tony sighs. "Yeah, I've noticed."

"UNDERSHIRT GOOD."

"Y'know, I _thought_ he was checking me out."

Hulk actually chuckles.


End file.
